50 days Left

There are fifty days left in this semester (or so  I have been told). Which to me is unbelievably exciting and scary. I am at the point in the semester where all I want to do it lay in bed, watch movies, and sleep. That being said I am also in the point of the semester where I have five billion things to do. So those things sadly do not go together. But I just ask that you pray for me and I will try to get on a schedule for posting soon. I have a few posts to do I just have to take the time to sit down and write them. Which is something I am very short on right now.

A Place I Belong

Do you ever feel like you have not found the place you belong in life? I know that I belong in my family and this is not where the problem is. My problem has always been finding the place I belong when it comes to friendships. I have always felt a disconnect in a lot of these relationships. Now do not feel horrible for me, I have always had friends that I can hang out with sometimes I wish there was just a little more.

In grade school I knew that I did not fit in with the people I was "friends" with. Due to the fact that I went to a really small school I did not have much of a choice in people to hang out with.

In high school I had friends and was friends with most people. I considered myself the floater friend. I could get along with most of the groups in my class. This also meant that I was not close enough with anyone to really be considered part of a group. Which means that now in my life when I go home I hang out with my family which I love. But I do not have friends who want to see me when I am home for breaks or friends who want to visit me at college.

In college I have found a group of friends, but I do not know if it is because of the friendships that I have had in the past but I do not feel like I fit quite right some of the time. I feel like everyone else's relationship is stronger.

I do not know, I may completely be the problem. I am not going to lie I am jealous of the people who have had a life long best friend that has been there for every part of the journey. I am jealous of the people who have friends that want to see them when they go home. Maybe it is just my own insecurity that is causing the problem now. I just know sometimes I wonder if I will always just kind of be alone.

Please do not freak out if you read this. I was starting to think about this tonight and decided to write out my feelings. I promise I am fine, sometimes for me it is better if I have somewhere to express myself rather than just bottling things up.

At Least I am Sure

If this semester has not taught me anything else it has made me sure that I want to be a teacher. I am sure that next semester will cement this even more. I have a ton of work this semester in my classes and one of my classes is awful. BUT I have never considered that I should not be going for Early Childhood Education. I know that it will be more than worth it when I have my own class of crazy kids around me. A lot of my bigger projects are starting to have some of the pieces come together which is nice. It makes me feel a little better about the work load that I have. I also always feel like I need to be completing homework which sucks. I know that many of my finals this semester are projects and I already know what they are. This makes it feel like I should always be doing some sort of homework. This can make trying to enjoy my free time kind of hard.

If you have anything you would like me to write about please let me know and I will get to it as soon as possible.